Honey, I'm Gay
by Siax
Summary: This is a story of life and its many surprises. A story which recognizes that with the right people, you can overcome anything. ...SK...
1. Honey, I'm Gay

**Duro lima (last revision) : 4.20.08**

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 1**

**x**

**x**

It's always hard when you have a kid.

Unless, of course, you have a second parent-like figure to help you.

My situation, however, was a bit…well—unique.

When I was sixteen, imprudent and a mere child, I feel in love with my best friend, Bankotsu. We did everything together. My first kiss was on a double date with him. The first time I ever got drunk, he was there to comfort me. The time I wanted to get a tattoo but chickened out, he didn't judge me.

I guess you could say I've always loved him.

I didn't like seeing him with girls, starting my sophomore year. All my friends knew I loved him but I didn't want to admit it to myself.

Not then, anyways.

His graduation came quickly, me being a junior—a very young one at that—and him off to study in Fashion. I guess that should have been my first clue he was gay.

That night, my mother allowed me to spend the night at his house, knowing we wouldn't do anything because we were practically brother and sister. I believed that as well until things started to heat up.

I, being the idiot I usually am, decided to tell him my feelings. And he, the 'player' he was, decided to take my virginity.

I'm not saying he's a bad guy. Because he _did _let me stay with him in his apartment until my daughter was two years old. At that point, he told me he was gay. Well, he didn't exactly tell me—it's more like I found him making out with a guy on our couch. I wasn't hurt as bad as I thought I would be.

At least it wasn't another girl.

My daughter is now five and I am twenty-one, living off the money I make by working at a high-class restaurant as a waitress, part time while Bankotsu works for a popular clothing store full time. He gave up his dreams to go to LA when I got pregnant. That much, I feel horrible about.

But then again, I gave up my dreams as well.

**x**

**x**

"Rin, sweetheart, don't play on those. They're dangerous," I called from where I sat, indulging myself in one of my most favorite romantic novels and listening to—dare I say it—my Ipod. The song, 45 by _Shinedown_ thrummed through my ears.

Rin nodded, staying away from the monkey bars.

She had grown up like me—weak in the arms, strong in the legs. I just didn't want her to end up falling and scraping herself up.

I sighed, looking at all the other mothers surrounding me. They were all probably in their thirties or even forties while I was only twenty one. Just old enough to drink.

Not that I would be going to any bars any time soon.

I never regretted keeping Rin. I mean, I could have been like all the other teenage mothers and given her up to the first 'good' adoptive parents recommended without even getting to hold her for more than ten minutes. I just don't think—if that had been the case—I could have gone through with it.

Sure, I missed out on a lot of things. Everywhere I went I would have to bring Rin. My friends understood—well, some of them. Sango, Eri, Ayumi, Ayame, and Yuka were the only ones that stuck with me through the tough years. I remember that they were there when I first tried to change Rin's diaper. Oh what a day that had been. We all look back and laugh at it now.

Sango still comes over sometimes with her boyfriend, Miroku, whom she met in college. I sighed once more.

I had really hoped to go to college. When I was sixteen, I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life but I was quite interested in the field of journalism. Now, that is all history.

"Kagome?"

The deep voice I had come to know over the years broke me from my trip down memory lane. I smiled before turning around.

"Bankotsu, hey!" I squealed childishly, jumping up to give him a hug. He was still my best friend despite the things we had been through. "Where have you been lately?" I didn't see him as much as I would have liked to. Though I wanted Rin to live with both her parents, she knew of the situation—even at such a young age she understood and accepted the fact her father like men better than women. She was very mature in certain aspects of life—and didn't ask many questions as to why her father lived a few blocks away from us.

"Here and there," he answered with a smile. "So how are you and Rin?"

"We're great," I said with a grin. "And I got your check last week. Sango dropped it by."

"Okay good," he said, searching the play area for our daughter.

"Let me call her over," I said. "Rin!" I yelled, my eyes following her as she stopped from running with the other children. "Come say hello to Daddy!"

My loud command had gotten the attention of one of the other parents sitting nearby. She looked at me and frowned, pity in her eyes. I rolled my eyes. _Really,_ some people could be _so_ judgmental.

I mean, for all they knew, I was her sister.

Okay so that was stupid. She resembled Bankotsu and I, greatly.

Rin gave the biggest, toothiest grin I had ever seen and galloped forward into her father's awaiting arms. He wrapped her up, in what Rin would like to call, a 'gidinosaurous' hug.

"Daddy!" she squealed though it was muffled by the fact her mouth was pressed against his shoulder.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "How's my little princess?"

They were so cute together.

She bounced up and down in his arms. "Good!"

"I'm glad to hear it. Now let's give mommy our sad puppy faces and see if she'll let us go shopping," he whispered in her ear. I gave him an I-can-totally-hear-you-you-imbecile look.

I decided to play along though since Rin giggled and nodded, sticking out her bottom lip in a plea. It was just so hard to resist.

"Can we go shopping, Mommy?" both Bankotsu and Rin asked in unison.

I sighed, laughing. "I knew it. I _knew _you were going to ask me that."

"Please, Kaggie?" Bankotsu begged. How could I turn them down?

I looked at my daughter and then at my best friend. "All right but don't max out daddy's credit card," I said to Rin, flicking her nose with a smile.

"Oh puh-lease. I have plenty of credit cards! She can max out how ever many she wants!"

"Oh boy," I muttered under my breath with a laugh.

**x**

**x**

"Hi mom," I called, walking into my old home. I had missed it so much, seeing as I hadn't visited in practically forever. My mother walked out from the kitchen, a big grin on her face.

"My dear," she said, hugging me. "Where's Rin?"

I smiled. Typical mother for you. I was just lucky to get her as my mother when I found out I was pregnant. Of course, she wasn't happy about it at all but as time passed, she forgave me and now can't get enough of my daughter.

"With Bankotsu, shopping. I swear, he can be more of a girl than I can."

My mother gave me a sympathetic smile. "He _is_ gay, dear."

I nodded. "It's a shame, too."

I followed her into the kitchen, the aroma of pork cutlet and rice reaching my nose. Yummy, I thought, licking my lips. "Where's Souta?" I asked, wondering where my little brother could have gone off.

I mean, he's really not the type to just get up and leave.

"With Kim. She's such a sweet girl," my mother answered.

I could agree with her on that. Kim really _was _a sweet girl and perfect for my bother. He _needed _someone to whip him into shape.

I picked at an apple on the table. "How long have they been together?"

"Um…" my mother began, stirring the soup off to the side. I hadn't even noticed the miso until that question slipped from my lips. "Two months, I believe."

"Aw," I said, taking a bite of the apple.

"Yes, yes. Now wash your hands. Dinner is almost ready."

"Geez," I said, cracking a smile. "You act as if I'm still a kid."

My mother rolled her eyes. "You _are _still a child."

**x**

**x**

After dinner at my mother's I had gone by the restaurant I worked at to visit Sango. Though we worked at the same place, out shifts were very scattered and different. I walked through the door and instantly wished I hadn't. My boss had a stressed look on her face and even she—and she never did—was serving the tables.

Sango was rushing about, her eyes heavy and her writing sloppy from what I could see. I could tell she wasn't getting enough sleep.

But then again, I hadn't exactly talked to her for a few weeks since I was busy with Rin and my job.

I scoffed.

Some relationships I have.

"Can I help you?" the woman standing at the podium asked.

I watched as Sango began talking with one of the male servers, nodded, gave him a hug and then made her way to the back where all of us like to hang out when there aren't any customers. My best guess was that he offered to give her a bit of a break.

"Um…no, I'm just here to talk to Sango."

"Oh. The waitress? Well, I'm not supposed to let anyone go back there…" she said, tucking a piece of auburn hair behind her ear.

"I work here."

"Oh. Really?"

Ugh, I thought. "Can I just—can I please go see her…It's an emergency," I lied, putting on my best anxious face.

I didn't wait for her answer and went past anyway. There was no way I could get in trouble because as I've explained, I work here. That and the boss absolutely adores me. So I made my way to the back, ignoring the interesting looks I got from other workers.

"Sang_oo_," I said in a singsong voice as I entered the room.

Her head snapped up and a smile instantly replaced her bushed expression.

"Hey Kags." She got up and wrapped me in a hug. "How are you? I haven't seen you in forever."

Just as I was about to answer, my phone beat me to it. "Hold on," I said, taking out the whining contraption. I rolled my eyes when I saw it was Bankotsu.

"Hello?"

"Kagome…" his breath was heavy as if he had been running. "She—I can't…find her."

"…Who?" I asked, hoping to god he wasn't talking about whom I thought he was talking about.

He inhaled. "Rin…"


	2. Mystery Man

**Duro lima (last revision) : 4.20.08**

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 2**

**x**

**x **

"What…do you mean you _can't _find her," I asked, very calmly in my opinion. Bankotsu was a great guy and all but he just _couldn't _keep track of his things…apparently that list included our _daughter_.

"I'm sorry," he apologized hastily. "Don't go thinking you're the only one who's worried. Do you know how much I'm stressing? After shopping, she decided that she wanted to take a walk in the park, god knows why, and then she saw an ice cream stand so I offered to get her some…"

I shook my head and tossed a glance at Sango before hurriedly exiting the room. I could hear her follow after me, telling the boss something about 'her niece' and 'lost' but I was barely paying attention. At the moment I was freaking out. I had never lost Rin before in my life. I just wanted to punch the shit out of Bankotsu but knew I had to keep my cool.

"…And next thing I know, she's gone," he finished and I could hear his footsteps become louder as he called out, "Rin! Rin?"

"Keep looking. She couldn't have gone too far. I'll meet you there," I answered, hanging up my phone and climbing into my car. I noticed Sango had climbed into the passenger seat as soon as I started the ignition.

"Don't worry Kagome," she said reassuringly. "We'll find her. She'll be alright."

**x**

**x**

The only other time I could remember thinking I lost Rin was in a nightmare I had. I woke up in a cold sweat that night, panicking until I checked her room, confirming she was still there. I never thought that it would actually happen until now.

I have to say that in my dream, I was a bit more frantic.

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot I was out of the car faster than you can say, "Look there's a monkey!"

Sango followed after me and I barely heard her tell me, "I'm going to search down here."

My eyes darted back and forth between the trees and bushes, hoping that she would just pop out and say, "Ha! I got you Mommy!" But of course, things never turn out the way you want them to. They either turn out better or worse and at that moment, I was leaning towards worse.

"Rin! Rin, baby!"

My heart began pounding relentlessly against my chest. The fear that she had been abducted, or worse, was consuming all rational thoughts.

Like I said, having a kid is never easy.

And then, as I came to a small pathway leading to a garden with Rin's favorite fish, I saw a flash of black. Please let it be Rin, I thought, practically running up the path.

"Rin?" I yelled.

The footsteps I had heard stopped as the pond came to view along with my daughter's face. I let out a breath of relief.

"Rin Higurashi! Do not _ever _do that again!" I rushed up to her and hugged her, not even noticing the man standing a few feet away from us.

I could see Rin roll her eyes when I said that. "Your father, auntie, and I have been looking everywhere for you, sweetheart! Why did you run off like that? Someone bad could have found you!"

Rin smiled. "No one bad found me. This nice man found me. I was really scared until he came, Mommy," she said, walking over to a burly figure I had not seen standing there before. And 'scuse me for being a total teenager but he was _damn _hot!

Long, dignified silver hair hung loosely to about his waist and his golden eyes shone just like the sun. I shook my head unnoticeably and stood up from my squatted position. This was no time to be checking out guys—especially when my daughter was hugging his leg. Wait, why _was _she hugging this man's leg?

"Um…tha—that's nice honey and thank you for um…helping her," I said to the man.

"You seem hesitant. Do not fret. I did not harm your daughter in any way. She merely found me sitting, admiring the koi pond and asked me if I could help her find her father, just as you found us," he explained.

"Oh…" I said, looking at him thoughtfully. He seemed like an _okay _person. "Is there any way I can repay you? For looking after her, I mean."

"No it is fine. Goodbye Rin," he said, looking down at her.

"But," Rin whined.

He continued walking, despite her protest. I picked her up and watched him walk away also. He seemed—a bit odd—but handsome, nonetheless. Though, I suppose you would dub him more as beautiful because of his feminine base. It was also pretty odd to see a demon walking around just for no reason unless of course they were looking for a fight. But I'm not a mind reader so I suppose he could have a reason.

"Did he do anything to you, Rin?" I asked, turning away from where he had disappeared.

She shook her head. "Nope! I like Sesshomaru a lot!"

"Sesshomaru…" I muttered under my breath.

**x**

**x**

"Oh Rin, thank god," Bankotsu exclaimed as she ran into his arms. "Don't ever do that again? You hear me?"

She just smiled and gave him a hug, partly because I had lectured her about running off the way back to meet Bankotsu and Sango. She was tired of me by the time we met up with them and just wanted to be with her father.

"A really, really nice man found me," she explained.

Bankotsu looked at me and I shrugged.

"Did he give you anything or make you do anything?" he asked her, standing up and holding her hand.

She cocked her head to the side. "Like what?"

He smiled. "I'll take that as a no."

Sango stepped up behind me. "See. She's fine."

I glared playfully at her. "You were worrying too."

"Why wouldn't I be? She's my niece," she said with a smile.

I nodded. "That is true." I had been best friends with Sango ever since the first time I met Bankotsu's family. He truly had a lot of brothers. I had actually mistaken one for another sister, save Sango, and he had gotten a bit testy so I don't talk to him much anymore. Other than that though, I get along with all of them. Rin sees them often but I don't get to see them _as _much.

"Aunty Sango!" she yelled, right after she spotted Sango behind me. As soon as Sango picked Rin up, asking her about school and various other things, Bankotsu walked over to me and began questioning about the guy who had found Rin.

I mean—if I were him, I would be curious too.

"What did he say?" he asked quietly, resting his elbow on my shoulder.

"He just said he had found her and no harm had come to her."

Bankotsu gave me a why-would-he-say-that look. I sighed and said, "Apparently I looked somewhat hesitant."

"Hm."

**x**

**x**

Later that night, Sango and I sat on the couch, sipping cautiously at our freshly brewed hot chocolate. "What movie do you want to watch?" I asked, setting the mug down on the counter to my left.

"Um…I don't know…you pick," Sango said, taking another sip from her mug.

"Okay then," I said, opening the doors to the oak cabinet that rested under my TV. Rin had dubbed it the 'big people's cabinet' since no kid movies resided in it. Of course, she didn't care since she had a shelf in her room that ranged from Dora to The Little Mermaid. Sango and I actually didn't mind watching Disney movies on occasion but tonight we were glad Rin was tucked away safely in her bed.

I pulled out Moulin Rouge. Sango said it was the 'misunderstood' movie since most people think it's weird. But we love it. I guess you would just have to have a certain sense of humor for it because it really is a comical movie. That's not to say we didn't cry at the end…but if you haven't seen it, I won't give away the ending.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and Miroku and a few of his friends to the movies tomorrow? It's Saturday and I know for a fact you don't have to work."

I sighed. I hated when she did this. She thought that just because her brother was gay, I needed a steady man for Rin. Bankotsu was amazing. I didn't need anyone else. She didn't seem to grasp that and kept insisting on setting me up. Hojo was the first one she tried. He was cute but not exactly my type. He was too—clingy. Speaking of clingy, though, Hiten was the second she tried to set me up with. I'm still very good friends with him but we just didn't work as a couple. I couldn't stand his constant nagging. He finally found someone just right for him though, thankfully.

"Sango…" I started and she gave me a look that read 'I-know-what-you're-going-to-say-so-don't. "I need to watch Rin and besides I don't want to be the third wheel."

"Didn't you hear me? I said Miroku and his _friends_. Please? I don't know them and I would like for you to be there so it's not completely awkward. And you can just drop Rin off with Souta and your mom, right?"

"I don't know…" I said, slipping the DVD into the DVD player. I closed it and grabbed the remote from the top of the TV. "It's not that I don't want to go…it's just I don't want to date right now and I think that Rin should have me around."

I know, it was a lame excuse but I really didn't feel like going anywhere. Sitting at home with Rin and Bankotsu sounded nice enough to me. Making popcorn, eating gummy worms, and having Rin smother us in makeup sounded more fun to me than hanging out with a bunch of people I didn't know, minus Sango. I mean, I didn't even know Miroku that well, and that's pretty sad. He has, after all, been her boyfriend for around three years.

And then when she said his _friends _I knew I would be the odd one out. I mean, sure, they could be totally hot and available but I want someone steady for Rin when I _do _want to get back into the dating game. Right now, I was content.

"Kagome, listen to what you're saying. You'll be gone for only a day. Besides, you need to get prepared for when Rin grows up. She's not going to want you around all the time," Sango said, dipping a hand into the popcorn bowl as the previews started. "I know I didn't want my mom around all the time when I was growing up."

"Yeah Sango, but we're talking teen years. She's barely six."

Sango rolled her eyes. "I want you to have fun, Kagome. And I haven't seen you glowing since Rin was born. Sure you have that smile reserved for your friends and family but you're not truly happy. I think a man would do that."

"I'm only twenty one," I argued. "I don't want a husband yet."

"I'm talking about a boyfriend. Don't you want a male companion?" she asked, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

It was true; I really did want a male companion. Someone to wake up next to, say 'I love you' to and watch Rin grow up with. But nobody out there seemed good enough. Especially not the choices Sango had laid out for me.

"I guess I do…" I answered hesitantly.

"Good then it's settled. We're going to the movies tomorr—"

Sango didn't get to finish her sentence because I heard Rin's cry of, "Mommy!" and immediately was by my daughter's side, asking what was the matter.

She sniffled and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I had a nightmare," she sobbed quietly.

I smiled and picked her up, walking out to the living room. "Shh, sweetheart, Mommy's here." Sango saw me and gave a lopsided smile as I sat back down on the couch, Rin on my lap.

"You want to tell me and Aunty what it was about?" I asked, situating myself so we could both be more comfortable. She nodded and snuggled into my shoulder and began telling me the tale of her horrible dream.

"I was walking through a big house and I went into a room and there was a lady with red eyes sitting in the chair and she said she killed daddy," she said, sniffling as she continued. Both Sango and I looked at each other when she mentioned Bankotsu.

"And—and she said that she was going to kill you too…and then her eyes turned white like she was a ghost and she came after me," she sobbed.

Sango and I exchanged glances.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Daddy's fine and Mommy's fine," Sango said, patting her head.

"Can—can I call him?" she asked.

I looked at the clock. Only ten. "Yes." Sango pulled out her cell phone and dialed Bankotsu's number before handing the phone to Rin.

I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her forehead. "D-daddy?" she hiccupped. I could hear his worried voice on the other line until she told him she had had a nightmare and wanted to see if he was all right.

Next thing I know, Bankotsu's telling her he'll come right over and Rin's smiling despite her nightmare and the tears moments ago. Our movie was forgotten and I made an extra cup of hot cocoa for Rin while we waited for Bankotsu.

Ah, the wonders of being a parent.


	3. Mystery Man :Part II:

**Duro lima (last revision) : 4.20.08**

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 3**

**x**

**x **

"Ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum—oof," I said involuntarily as my knees were rammed into the cabinets in front of me. Rin's little arms snaked around my thighs.

"Morning, Mama!" she chirped.

She was like me—a complete and total morning person.

Sango though, who groggily staggered into the kitchen from the living room, was obviously not. She grumbled an unhappy, "Good morning," and sat down at the table with Rin, who was smiling brightly.

"Pancakes or waffles?" I asked, flipping over a browning piece of batter. Rin was the first to speak seeing as Sango wanted nothing to do with me at the moment because I had woken her up. I considered it payback for making me go to her little rendezvous with Miroku and his friends. I convinced Bankotsu to come—despite Sango's protests—because like I've said, I really don't want to be set up. And besides, Bankotsu wanted to see how hot the guys were.

He told me he had to 'approve' them.

Yeah, right. He just wants an excuse to lust after gorgeous men that only women can date (unless one of them inadvertently turns gay).

"Pancakes!" Rin squealed, holding out her plate. I giggled at her antics and let the pancake on my spatula slide onto her plate.

"There's syrup in the pantry, just try not to spill, sweetie, okay?" I said, watching as Rin walked over to the table and carefully set down her Dora plate before skipping over to the pantry and pulling out the gooey bottle of syrup.

"What would you like, Sango?"

"A hatchet," she groaned.

I raised an eyebrow and smiled. "To kill me with?"

"Mhm," she muttered and then collapsed onto the table.

I mean, come on, it was only six o' clock.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

Bankotsu arrived around five, Sango asleep on the couch while Rin and I watched 'The Proud Family'. I personally found it annoying but Rin loved it.

"Honey, I'm home," Bankotsu said in a singsong voice. I laughed and Rin instantly perked up.

"Daddy!" she squealed, tackling his leg since it was the only part of his body she could really reach without him having to pick her up. He looked very handsome, his hair (as usual) pulled back into a braid while he sported faded Levi jeans and a button up collared coal black shirt. I'd tap that, I thought; laughing inwardly, before pushing any thoughts of Bankotsu and me back into the recesses of my mind.

"Sango," I whispered, shaking her shoulders.

She groaned and rolled over, burying her face into the pillow.

Bankotsu rolled his eyes as he picked up Rin. "Poke her in the side. It always worked when we were in high school."

I grinned and poked her three times before Sango jerked awake, glaring at me. "You little—"

"Child in the room," Bankotsu and I reminded before she said something that would piss both of us off and teach Rin a naughty word.

She bit her bottom lip but hit me over the head with a pillow. We didn't end up leaving until thirty minutes later.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

"Be good with Uncle Souta and Mimi, okay?" I said as I set Rin down. She nodded and ran up to knock on the door. My mother opened it, gave a look of feigned surprise which caused Rin to laugh before picking her up and giving her and Eskimo kiss. It was one of those moments that I wished I had a camera.

"Bye, Mom!" I called, walking back towards the steps of the shrine. Bankotsu had refused to climb up them saying that it took too much energy. Which in all honesty it did. How do you think I stay so skinny?

"Bye, sweetheart, have fun!" my mother called, followed by Rin's, "I love you, Mommy!"

I smiled and called back an, "I love you too," before hearing the door close. I jogged down the steps back to the car.

"Everything good?" Sango asked as I entered into the passenger seat.

I nodded and she smiled before pulling out of the miniature driveway and back onto the road.

To the movies we go, I thought.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

"So where is Miroku, San?" I asked as we walked into the plaza. The mall wasn't all that big so we decided just to see a movie and then maybe grab some drinks. Actually, I didn't decide it; it was more Miroku and his 'mysterious' friends' idea.

"I…don't…oh! He's by the ticket booths," she said, snapping her phone shut. I suspected he had been texting her.

"Miroku!" she yelled as we walked towards the booths, Bankotsu's arm hooked through mine. He promised to protect me somewhat against the guys unless they were completely hot. And then he would leave me on my own, which I found pointless.

I saw Miroku turn and smile before walking towards us, meeting us halfway. Two men followed behind him. One had silver hair—which was very peculiar because I noted that the man that had found Rin had silver hair also—and the same awe-striking golden eyes. He had a cute, boyish face. The other had auburn hair tied back with a black ribbon type object and sparkling cerulean eyes.

They were both quite handsome and I immediatly realized they were demons. Well, the one with silver hair was a _hanyou _but it still struck me as odd.

Bankotsu must have thought so too because he was grinning widely.

"Kagome, nice to see you again," Miroku greeted, giving me an unexpected hug. I say unexpected because we really never talk much as I've mentioned before. I didn't complain though and hugged him back.

"It's good to see you too."

"Well, let me introduce you all to my friends. The one in the red shirt is Inuyasha and the one in the brown shirt is Kouga."

We all said our hellos. Kouga and I hit it off instantly while it was a little iffy with Inuyasha. Bankotsu had left me in favor of talking to Inuyasha. It seemed that Inuyasha knew Jakotsu (the brother I had mistaken for a girl) and didn't like him that much. That much made me giggle.

"So what do you do for a living, Kagome?" Kouga asked as we walked into the theatre, handing our tickets to whom I liked to call, 'the man behind the podium'. Rin loved going to the movies. I sighed audibly, remembering how I had just left her. I don't know why I felt so depressed and guilty. I suppose it was just separation anxiety.

"I work part time at Kinmata Restaurant as a waitress, with Sango," I answered, tensing as his hand brushed against mine.

We made it to the concession stands and I pulled out my wallet, figuring some gummy bears would do me good.

"That's cool," Kouga said and I could tell it was with forced enthusiasm. Though I don't blame him, my job really wasn't all that exciting anyway. We entered the line, Bankotsu and Inuyasha behind us. They were chatting about random subjects. All I picked up from the conversation before Kouga started talking again was, "Oh yeah, she's single."

And I was hoping they weren't talking about me. Because I could tell it was Bankotsu who had said that.

"Do you make a lot? I hear the tips are pretty good," he said, trying to make conversation.

"Um yeah…enough to get me by."

"Well that's good. If you ever need some extra money, just ask," he said, holding out a twenty and paying for my gummy bears before I even got the chance to take out my money. I opened my mouth to protest but he pressed a finger to lips.

"You don't have to thank me," he said very cockily as he picked up his change.

Who said anything about thanking him?

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

I was sandwiched between Sango and Inuyasha when the movie started. I managed to ditch Kouga despite Sango's glares because apparently he'd taken an interest in me. I had scoffed and rolled my eyes, saying he was a jerk.

She sighed but left the subject alone.

"So, what are we seeing again?" I asked Inuyasha since Sango was too busy making out with Miroku. I had the sudden urge to say, "Look what happened to me. You want a kid?"

"300."

Okay, I thought. He obviously wasn't in a talking mood.

"It's supposed to be really good. I don't know though. So…Bankotsu tells me you have a kid."

I was surprised, to say the least, that he started talking again. "Yes. I do," I answered, smiling.

He gave a grin. "How old is she?"

"Five, turning six in March."

"Cute," he grumbled, resting his arm on the armrest.

I smiled. Maybe Inuyasha wasn't so bad after all.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

"Did you like the movie, Kagome?" Sango asked with a grin.

I smiled, resisting the urge to giggle. "Oh my god, yes," I answered. The movie was every girls dream; plenty of men with luscious six packs, strong jaws, and the amazing ability to look sexy while being all sweaty _and_ bloody.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and Bankotsu just nodded in agreement.

Miroku and Kouga had run off to get the cars.

Sango and Inuyasha had decided that we would go back to Inuyasha's house and have a few drinks. I declined to the drinks but didn't mind hanging out with everyone and getting to know them. It actually sounded like fun (besides the fact that Kouga wouldn't get a clue). Sango had told me earlier before we left that Inuyasha's family was very wealthy.

Miroku, Sango, Inuyasha and I were going to all go in Sango's car while Bankotsu was riding with Kouga.

We all walked out to the plaza, making chit chat with each other until the cars pulled up.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

I was in awe as we entered the mansion. It was massive; a stunning Victorian style tribute to man surrounded by the most expansive, well cared for gardens I had ever seen in my immensely lacking botanical experience. The front doors were a rich, polished dark brown oak, leading into a large antechamber with a vaulted ceiling. High arched widows sprang up the walls, letting in the soft glow of the shrouded full moon above. The floor was of expensive Italian imported marble tile of a swirled cream color, and lining the walls were various stone and marble busts and Roman statues, all artfully placed in exact accordance of each other.

Inuyasha chuckled, snapping me from my examinations.

"What?" I asked, my lips still parted and my eyes wide.

"You're drooling," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Don't worry. We get that reaction a lot."

I shut my mouth and sighed. "It really is wonderful."

"Isn't it?" Sango squealed, entering and looking around as if it were her first time in the mansion also. Miroku walked in after her and slipped an arm around her waist, kissing her cheek tenderly.

And as that ache in my heart made itself known again, I realized that I wanted what Sango had. Not Miroku, mind you, but someone to love; someone to hold me and comfort me; someone to fight with and make up with.

I let out an audible sigh and Inuyasha shot me a weird look.

"This way," he said, as soon as he was done analyzing my choice in action.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

We were all seated in the 'living room' per say, chatting about school and what we planned on doing with out lives. I sat back in my seat, feeling very uncomfortable. I pretty much already had my life planned out for me: taking care of my daughter.

If there were a chance I could go to college I would take it in a second. I just didn't want to be a waitress for the rest of my life.

"What about you, Kagome?"

I blinked. "What?" I hadn't been paying attention at all.

"I asked what you were going to do once Rin gets older," Inuyasha asked, sipping from his drink. I was surprised he wasn't chugging it.

"Who's Rin?" Kouga asked. Obviously Sango hadn't mentioned Rin to him.

"Our daughter," Bankotsu and I said simultaneously.

He looked back and forth between Bankotsu and me almost sheepishly. "You…you two are married?"

I frowned and Bankotsu laughed.

"No," he explained. "We never were. Kagome had Rin when she was sixteen and I'm well…gay."

He said it so openly and it made me wonder how many of his friends knew.

"You…you're _gay_?"

Sango rolled her eyes. "You act like you've never met a gay guy before."

"But he…_touched _me!"

Inuyasha started cracking up along with Bankotsu and I tried to stifle my giggles.

"Not to ruin your day, honey, but you aren't all that good looking…"

Kouga glared. "Hey! Wait a minute!"

Sango started laughing, soon followed by Miroku.

**SLAM**

Everyone went silent, even Kouga as soon as the door slammed shut. I even jumped; but then again, I've never been one for sudden, out of the blue noises. Inuyasha and I exchanged glances as the sound of footsteps were heard.

I swear, I could not even hear Sango breathing.

It was eerie…uncomfortable.

Inuyasha's eyes followed something behind me (what I assumed to be a person) and as soon as I turned around, he or she was gone.

I raised an eyebrow in Inuyasha's direction and heard another door slam shut upstairs.

"That," Inuyasha started. "...ladies and gentlemen, would be my half brother…Sesshomaru."

My eyes widened. "Sesshomaru…?"


	4. P I T A

**Duro lima (last revision) : 4.20.08**

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 4**

**x**

**x **

Sango gave me a quizzical look. "Do you know him, Kags?"

I nodded affirmative. I knew that Inuyasha and him had to be related somehow—unless one of them had dyed their hair that color but even that scenario struck me as false. Their hair and eyes were just too real.

"He was—um, the one that found Rin."

Inuyasha cocked his head.

"We lost Rin the other day and apparently that guy found her…" Bankotsu explained, somewhat tentative, not exactly sure if he got the details correct.

"Yeah. I just—wow—I didn't know you were related?" I said.

"Brother—sadly," Inuyasha said, rolling his eyes.

"What's going on?" Kouga asked.

We all turned to look at him. I mean, is he _deaf_?

Sango rolled her eyes. "Let's go thank him." She made a move to get up but Inuyasha stopped her by saying, "I don't think that's such a good idea. He's usually pretty calm but since he slammed the door—he's obviously in a bad mood. I wouldn't bother him if I were you."

Miroku agreed with a nod. "He's right, love, Sesshomaru can be nasty when he wants to."

Figures, I thought. All the hot ones are either gay, taken, or assholes.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

I sighed, feeling the cool air tousle my ebony locks. I was in a pure state of bliss—staring out into the sky, watching the rain fall down on the ground with a soft _pitter-patter_. I had always been one to love the rain—and nature, at that.

While the others had conversed inside, I had interrupted to announce my need for fresh air—just in case anyone came looking for me. I traveled up to the second floor, hoping to find a bathroom on the way as well and found a balcony. As soon as I saw the rain, I knew my bladder could wait.

"Inuyasha and his friends already annoying you?" a deep, silky smooth voice said, a smile in his words—though it did not show physically.

"More or less," I answered honestly. "I just don't enjoy when people ask me what I would like to do with my life. I mean, hello? I have a kid." After saying this, I turned around, nearly gasping at the man whom I had just spilled one of my frustrations to. I don't know whom I was expecting but it wasn't him. "Hello, again," I said, smiling.

He nodded. "I thought it was you," he said, scrutinizing me for a moment. "Your daughter is very kind."

I smiled wider. "Yes, she gets it from her father."

He raised an eyebrow. "You are married?"

"Oh, no," I mumbled. "No, I'm not. It's a…delicate situation."

"I see," he answered, taking a spot next to me, though instead of leaning on the rail, he stood, arms tucked behind his back. It was a very…regal stance, if you ask me. Everything about him—unlike Inuyasha—screamed 'aristocrat', which is why I debated in my mind whether to ask him to dinner. My apartment would surely disgust him, no?

But I inwardly sighed and sucked up my pride.

Just ask him, I told myself. What's the worst he could do?

"I never got to properly thank you for finding her," I said, glancing over at him. "Would you like to come to dinner tomorrow night? I'll even cook." To anyone else, that comment would have brought a smile to their face and caused them shake their head in a 'yeah…right' sort of way. But obviously, since I was just properly meeting Sesshomaru, it seemed futile to throw that into the conversation.

His eyes shone with amusement as if he got the joke. He glanced over to me—his golden eyes as beautiful as ever—and shook his head, much to my dismay. "I must decline. I have a few meeting I must attend for work."

My smile dropped into a frown. "Oh. Well, that's okay. Here," I said, rummaging through my purse until I found an old receipt. "Take my number and you can call me when you're not busy." I scribbled down my number and handed it to him. I noticed he examined the piece of paper and was studying the items I had bought. I rolled my eyes.

"I really will feel guilty if I don't have you over for at least a home cooked meal."

"As you wish," he said looking at the paper. "Kagome."

I grinned. Curiosity nagged at me though. And just as I was about to _politely _imply that I wished to know the reason for his sudden burst of anger earlier, my phone gave a shrill whine. He glanced at my purse. "Excuse me for a second," I said and pulled out my cell. He nodded.

"Hello?"

"_Hi Mommy!" _squealed my hyperactive daughter over the phone. I smiled at her voice and looked at my watch. Almost eleven. What was she doing up _so _late? Usually, I had her in bed by eight at the latest. _Oh_, my mother was going to get a lecture.

"Sweetie, why aren't you in bed?"

I could hear her pouting on the other line. _"Mimi said I could stay up until you got back!"_

"Alright. Well, I'll be home soon, okay? And tell Uncle Souta to stop playing those video games! They'll rot his brains out!" I laughed, hearing the groans and _hiyah!_s of the characters in his favorite combat game.

"_Okay, Mommy. I love you!"_

"I love you too, sweetheart. Now go get on your pajamas to be ready when I get there."

"_Okay! Bye!"_

I smiled and hung up the phone.

"Your daughter, I presume?" Sesshomaru asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. She's such a cutie. But a pain in the butt when she wants to be."

"All children are," he agreed.

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Sesshomaru. But I should get going. Rin expects me home soon. Call me, okay?" I said, waving as I made my way away from the balcony. He watched me the whole time—I could feel it.

But that didn't matter at the moment.

All that was on my mind was: _bathroom._

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

Rin was cradled in my arms as I walked up the steps to the apartment. I waved goodbye to Sango and Bankotsu before opening the door, trying not to wake Rin from her idyllic slumber. I failed, however, by tripping over one of her toys and sending myself jerking forward. Her eyes snapped open and she looked at me, her breath ragged.

If I had not caught myself, I would have surely hit the ground, scaring her to death.

"M-mommy?" she asked a smile slowly forming on her lips.

"Shh, honey. Yes, it's me."

She gripped my shirt tighter as we came into her room. "Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?" she asked sweetly just as I was about to put her down on her bed.

I smiled. "Of course, sweetheart. And I'll tell you what, we can have a girls night with Daddy and Auntie Sango tomorrow night, okay?" I offered since the Sesshomaru plan was a no-go. And besides, it actually sounded really fun to me. But then again, I'd give up anything just to spend a night with my loved ones.

She squealed and giggled. "I can't wait!"

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

I was dreaming about those golden eyes and that pristine hair—his luscious lips and his wonderful posture (is that weird or what?) when the air was knocked right out of my lungs. I coughed and groaned.

"Rin," I whined. "Go back to sleep, baby. It's too early."

"You're more of a kid then me, Mama," she giggled. I smiled into the pillow.

"Oh really?" I challenged. "Well maybe the tickle monster can help you change your mind!" I said playfully, jerking up from my comfortable position to tickle my daughter. She squealed and ran out of the room, laughing and barely able to control her steps.

I grinned. "Here I come!" I yelled, running in the same direction she had.

I heard her scream from the living room and slowly stalked my way over.

I heard the front door slam and I instantly straightened. "Rin! You can't go outside, swee—" I stopped in mid sentence when I saw Bankotsu at the door, grinning and holding our daughter in one hand and a bag of donuts in the other.

"Cheater," I said playfully, sticking my tongue out at Rin.

Bankotsu chuckled and set her down. "Go wash up," he said and patted her butt to get her moving. She nodded cheerfully before sticking her tongue out at me. I laughed.

"Hello there, love, and how are you fairing this morning?" he asked with a smile, slipping an arm around my waist.

I smiled. "Just _dandy_, darling." I pecked him on the cheek and stole the donuts from his hands. He gasped.

"How dare you use me to get to my donuts!" he snapped playfully.

I laughed. "I'm helping you, _darling_, you'll get fat if you eat them all by yourself."

He growled and launched at me.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

After a very _unhealthy_ breakfast I opted we take a walk in the park to burn off the calories while the lazy ass (Bankotsu) tried to moan and groan his way out of it. "C'mon Daddy!" Rin pressured, holding my hand and already in the cute little jogging suit I had bought her a couple weeks ago.

"Yeah, Daddy, c'mon. Besides, I have to work tomorrow—this is one of my last days to hang around with you guys," I said, smiling. I really loved Bankotsu but he could really be a PITA sometimes.

Rin had learned my acronym for 'pain in the ass', though still doesn't know what it stands for—thank heavens—and calls her father 'pita bread' when she can see I'm getting frustrated with him. I found it _adorable_.

Bankotsu hates me for it.

I leaned down, Bankotsu raising his eyebrows at me. "On three, we'll attack him okay?" I said a mischievous grin on my lips.

Rin nodded furiously.

"One," I said as we took a few steps closer. "Two."

Bankotsu's eyes widened and he looked for any route of escape.

"Three!"

But he didn't succeed.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

We finished our walk, went for an ice cream cone, did some back to school shopping for Rin, and then went back to my apartment, Bankotsu calling Sango and telling her to come to girl's night tonight.

She agreed happily and said she would bring over some of her favorite Disney movies that we apparently didn't own.

"Hey, pumpkin!" Bankotsu called from the kitchen as Rin and I watched TV—just to be lazy. I knew he was talking to Rin because my nicknames consisted of _babe, bunny, bubble butt, Kagsy, _and _love_.

Rin's however consisted of _pumpkin, sweetie, sweetheart, baby, _and _honey_.

I'm not even going to try and name off the nicknames I have for Bankotsu—it would just be a waste of space and time (because trust me, there are _a lot_). Rin got up and scurried into the kitchen just as my cell decided to ring.

I heard Bankotsu get it and knew if it was anyone important he would give it to me so I didn't even bother getting up.

"_Ohhh_, bunny! There's someone on the phone by the name of Sesshomaru!"

I rolled my eyes and jogged into the kitchen. Rin looked up at me with wide eyes. "Sesshomaru? The nice man from the park?" she asked.

I nodded and put the phone to my ear. "Tell your daughter I say hello," the cold voice demanded on the other line. I smiled.

"He says hello, honey."

"Hi Sesshomaru!"

I grumbled under my breath. "She says hi, too. Now, what can I help you with? Decide to take me up on my offer?" I asked.

"Actually, yes, I did. Is Saturday an open time for you?"

"Saturday…umm," I covered the mouthpiece with my hand. "Pita bread! Are we doing anything on Saturday?"

It was pretty pathetic how Bankotsu knew my schedule better than I did.

"Not that I know of, _bubble butt_."

I narrowed my eyes at that but forgave him silently. "We're free on Saturday," I said to Sesshomaru.

"Then I will see you on Saturday."

"Yessire. Oh! Let me give you the address."

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

Rin was curled up against Bankotsu, yawning every few seconds while Sango and I took the couch. I nearly squealed they looked so cute together. Which is why I used both my camera phone and Bankotsu's to get as many pictures as I could without them noticing.

We were watching _Beauty and the Beast, _one of my most _favorite_ Disney movies of _all_ time. There was just something about it that made me want to see it over and over again.

"They're so adorable, together," Sango whispered. "It's a shame you guys couldn't be a _proper_ family."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah…"

But I had a feeling that I would have a _proper_ family soon.

In fact, it was closer than I would have ever known.


	5. Timeless

**Duro lima (last revision) : 4.20.08**

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 5**

**x**

**x**

"Rin, baby, you want to help me pick out some groceries for tonight when Sesshomaru comes over? You can even help me cook!"

The week had passed by very quickly, my work and Rin keeping me very occupied. I was able to get Bankotsu and on occasion Sango to help out but felt guilty if I depended on them too much (well, not Bankotsu so much). After all, Rin was his child too.

He was an _amazing _father to her.

And I was thankful (unlike most men, he actually stuck around) I had gotten pregnant by him than any other man. Rin couldn't have had a better family. Speaking of which, Bankotsu had informed, not but two days ago, that half of his enormously massive family would be visiting him and had demanded seeing Rin. I, of course, reluctantly complied.

They always scared the _shit _out of me when I went near them.

"Yes!" I heard her squeal and the _pitter-patter _of feet and smiled. Now if I only knew what I was going to make…

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

I scanned the aisles, looking at my list every few seconds to see if any of the items were on the shelves in front of me. Rin had suggested fish (salmon to be more precise)—though she didn't like it that much—because she concluded it was a _grown up _meal.

I suggested we add a lemon butter sauce. To be honest, I was actually somewhat hesitant at how it would turn out (I don't cook that often if you didn't get the memo). Rin was ecstatic that I was going to let her cook and I realized just how much she's like her father.

I smiled in triumph as I found the lemon shaped bottle of lemon juice. I always loved squeezing these things when I was growing up—as odd as that sounds. "Okay, now I need butter and Tabasco…and salmon. Rin, baby, can you go get the butter and Tabasco sauce?"

She nodded fervently and ran off in the direction of the milks and butter.

"Kagome? I didn't expect to see you here," a deep voice said behind me causing me to jump. His voice sounded oddly like…

"Hiten?" I said, shock evident in my features as I turned around. "Oh my god! I haven't seen you since…Rin was four!" I squealed giving him a hug. He chuckled.

"Well that was a nice hello," he said, grinning.

I smiled. "How have you been?"

He shrugged. "I've been doing well. I finally got around to opening the club I told you about—the one with my brother."

I smiled even wider. I was really happy for him; he had always wanted to own a club ever since his father passed away—his father was never really supportive of his dreams. I'm sure the old man was cursing him silently from the heavens.

"That's great!"

"Yeah, I guess so. You and the gang should come around sometime," he offered, referring to Sango, Bankotsu, and Bankotsu's brother, (one of the only members of Bankotsu's family that I could get along with) Renkotsu.

"Oh yeah we should! But to be honest, I haven't talked to Renkotsu since Rin's first birthday. I don't really keep in touch with his side of the family," I answered honestly. Hiten nodded in understanding.

"So where is the little rascal?"

I smiled. "She went off to—"

"Mommy, I got the butter and tabesco!" squealed Rin as she ran up the aisle, very careful not to drop the bottle of Tabasco sauce.

I laughed. "It's ta_bas_co, sweetie."

"Hey Rin," Hiten said, smiling sweetly at my daughter.

Rin looked up and examined him for minute before smiling wide. She would have—had she not had the tabasco and butter in her little arms—given him a hug but I never really let them meet until Hiten and I had dated for four months.

And soon after—the sixth month—Hiten and I had broken up so she didn't exactly attach to him.

"Hi," she said coyly.

He chuckled. "And how are you doing today? You're looking very pretty, Rin. Did you pick out that dress by yourself?"

She nodded. "Yup!"

I giggled and patted her head. "Well, we better get going, Hiten. Rin and I have a guest to entertain tonight."

"_Ohh_," Hiten teased. "Male, I presume?"

"You presume correctly."

He chuckled. "Well have fun!"

I nodded. "It was nice seeing you again!"

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

I opened the door to the apartment and was faced with a sleeping—not to mention _snoring_—Bankotsu. I rolled my eyes. How did he manage to get in anyways? "Rin go kick your father, please," I said, taking the groceries into the kitchen.

I heard a _smack_—assuming she slapped him instead—and then a groan. "Owww," he moaned, Rin giggling uncontrollably. I took out the salmon to place it into the fridge and heard a _thump_. A very _loud _thump.

Curiosity got the best of me and I made my way into the living room to see Bankotsu face down on the floor with his arm glowing red (from where she had slapped him…and apparently _quite _hard). I couldn't help but laugh.

"I have an evil daughter," he muttered into the carpet. "And an even more evil best friend."

I was still laughing, not able to get over the fact that he had fallen off the couch. "Well get up," I said in between giggles. "What are you even doing here anyways? Didn't I tell you I had plans?"

He groaned as he got up, dragging himself back onto the couch. "Yeah…but that's not for another two hours. I was going to see if I could take Rin out for a bit. Buy her some new clothes or toys or something. I just got paid…Oh! Your check is on the counter by the way."

"Oh _shit_!" I yelled, forgetting Rin was in the room. "_Two _hours! Oh my god, I have so much to do!"

Rin gasped. "Mommy said a _bad _word!"

Bankotsu stared at me, mouth wide open. "You _cussed._ In front of _Rin_! Bad Mommy!" he berated.

I bit my bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Rin. I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say…shoot."

"Whatever," she said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, take her. But have her back in…an hour," I mumbled, rushing back to the kitchen.

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

The doorbell rang at precisely six o' clock.

I set on last plate on the table and looked it over to make sure I didn't miss anything. Salmon, rolls, and vegetables (and a side of Kraft macaroni and cheese for Rin) cluttered the table along with plates and utensils. I nodded and took a deep breath feeling oddly nervous about tonight. "Rin! Sesshomaru is here!" I yelled from the living room, slipping on my shoes and smoothing out the black dress that I had bought especially for this occasion.

After all, you should always dress for company, no?

I opened the door with a smile and nearly gasped at how—_handsome_—he looked. Of course, he looked the same as when I had first met him—elegant and regal—but he still looked wonderful.

"Hello, Kagome," he said with a slight bow of his head. "I brought this for Rin," he said, holding out a plastic bag with a tiny goldfish in it. "She seemed to take an interest in the koi pond. I hope this is okay?"

I nodded with a smile. "That was very thoughtful of you." I took the bag from him and began to wonder what was taking Rin so long.

"And…" he said, taking a white rose from behind his back. "This is for you."

My smile widened. "Oh…you didn't…have to," I said accepting the flower.

"Ah," he said. "But it would be rude of me to give something to Rin and not you."

I giggled, feeling like a teenager again. My daughter, however, ruined the 'moment' by running up and ramming into my legs. "Hi Sesshomaru!" she greeted with a toothy grin. It was then I noticed he was still standing outside.

"Oh! Sorry," I apologized. "Come in."

He nodded and brushed past me. "Rin, sweetie, look what Sesshomaru got for you," I said, holding out the goldfish.

Her eyes widened and her face instantly lit up. "Wow!" she said, taking the fish from me. "It's so pretty! Thank you, Sesshomaru!" she said and gave him a hug before running off to the kitchen to find a vase to put it in.

I smiled and I could see the ghost of a smirk on Sesshomaru's lips.

"Well, let's eat, shall we?" I offered. "I hope you like salmon."

**-**

**x**

**-**

**x**

**-**

Around eight, I motioned to Rin to come to me. "It's your bedtime, sweetheart, tell Sesshomaru goodnight."

"But…" she whined.

"No buts."

"Can Sesshomaru read to me?" she begged, her bottom lip pushed out in plea. "Pleas_eee_?"

I looked over at Sesshomaru who was sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of wine. "Go ask him."

She nodded and ran over to him. "Sesshomaru! Can you read to me?"

He looked over at me and then at her. "I suppose…" he agreed, somewhat tenatively.

"Yay!" she cheered and grabbed his arm to lead him into her room. I sighed as they disappeared and figured I might as well do the dishes. Dinner had run smoothly—though Rin did most of the talking—she was really growing attached to him.

I didn't know if that was so good.

I shook my head. Best not to worry about that now.

I smiled as I looked at the goldfish on the counter. He was better with kids than he let on.

I shook him from my head and reached over to turn on the radio. If I enjoyed anything more than hanging out with family it was singing and dancing along to the songs on the radio as I did dishes.

I smiled when I heard Kate Havnevik's voice fill the kitchen. The song playing, _Unlike Me_, was one of my favorites. Her voice was so beautiful and soothing. I didn't realize I had begun to dance until Sesshomaru's voice cut in.

"Would you like a partner or do you enjoy dancing alone?" he asked from behind me, amusement laced through his words.

I blushed—embarrassed that he had caught me. I had even forgotten he was in the house until he spoke up. I had been so caught up in my own little world. I smiled though, more than willing to take him up on his offer.

I turned around, biting my lip nervously. I couldn't even look him in the eye.

He took my hand and pulled me against him, his other hand resting on my hip. We began to sway and my eyes began to wonder—the awkwardness overwhelming me—up his chest and to his mouth. I could feel him watching me as my eyes met his.

I fell under a spell.

He began to move his head forward and I bit my lip again in anticipation. He was going to kiss me…by _gods_ he was going to _kiss _me.

He brushed his lips across mine lightly.

I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I took the incentive and pressed my lips to his—making it more intimate than the first. We stopped swaying gradually, his thumb drawing small, soothing circles on the curve of my back. I felt his tongue sweep across my bottom lip, begging for entrance, as my hands made their way up his chest. I could feel his muscles ripple beneath my touch and shivered as I opened my mouth. His tongue touched mine, and even though it was for the briefest of moments, I felt a bolt of pure pleasure strike the nerves in my nether regions.

I pulled back in surprise, his canines nipping my bottom lip from the sudden action, as two gunshots pierced the silence. And suddenly, I was jerked back to reality, my maternal instincts going wild.

"Go check on Rin," Sesshomaru ordered. "And stay with her."

I nodded, breaking from his grasp. I made it about two steps away when another thought hit me. "Wait…Sesshomaru what about—"

"Go check on Rin!"

I obeyed, and when I opened the door of my daughter's room, she was sitting up in bed, the cloth her comforter gathered up to her nose.

"Mommy, what was that?"

I swallowed. "Oh, nothing, honey. I was just checking on you. You need to go to sleep, alright?"

Rin shrugged. "Okay."

"Good. I'll be right outside if you need me."

I quietly shut the door and made my way to the front door. I was just reaching for the handle when it burst open with a _crack_.

Sesshomaru grabbed my arm, pulling me outside. "Is Rin in bed?" he hissed.

I stared at him in alarm. "Yes. What's the matter?"

"A man's been shot. It looks like a drive-by, but I'm not sure."

The little blood that was left in my face drained. "Oh my god. Where?"

"Over there on the sidewalk. Do you know him?"

I squinted into the darkness. "I can't tell. Did you call 911?"

"Yes. I need to go back. I can't leave him until the ambulance comes."

I followed him slowly, looking over my shoulder to see if Rin was still in bed. When I concluded she was, I picked up my pace to match the brisk one of Sesshomaru's.

The man lay still against the asphalt, a dark liquid surrounding his right arm—I assumed it to be blood—though I couldn't tell where the wound was.

I caught a glimpse of his face and my heart stopped.

"Oh my god," I said, my hand coming up to my mouth. Sesshomaru turned and looked at me.

"Do you know him?" he asked.

Tears sprung to my eyes.

"T-that's…Rin's father," I sobbed.


	6. Hopeless

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 6**

**x**

**x**

Time froze.

I was numb, fighting the tears that threatened to spill as I remembered every cheerful moment Bankotsu had ever brought me. From my first kiss to the day Rin was born, it seemed as if the memories multiplied, my heart aching—dying slowly.

The only tie to the world I had after he had been whisked away in that ambulance was the most precious gift he had ever and could ever have given me.

Our daughter.

She sat in my lap, her eyes drooping, not wanting to be in this dreaded hospital anymore than I did. Than I _ever_ did. "Mommy, is Daddy gonna be okay?" she asked groggily.

I stiffened. "He'll be just fine, my love. Just fine..." I cooed softly, smoothing her hair back from her face and planting a kiss on her forehead.

Yet, I could not will myself to believe that those words were true.

My eyes wandered over to Sesshomaru who was currently discussing the current situation with Renkotsu and Suikotsu—the only two of Bankotsu's brothers who had been able to make it to the hospital on such short notice. As I watched them converse I knew they did not believe I could hear them.

And yet, I heard every word.

"...it's my fault," Suikotsu sighed. "They thought he was me. I didn't want this to happen. I told him not to go out tonight especially with Rin and Kagome at hand. Rin doesn't deserve to lose her father."

Nor do I deserve to lose a best friend, I added in my head, fiercely wiping away the tear that threatened to fall. I refused to let Rin see me cry—I had to be her strength. If I wasn't strong, how would she ever be? She knew far less of the situation that I wished her to. Every, "_what happened to Daddy, Mommy_," I had brushed off, saying nothing more than, "_He just got hurt."_

I didn't wish to scare her and yet she took the vague answer without question.

She wasn't stupid.

She knew it was worse, but I suppose she was too tired to press, believing that if it were serious, I would tell her.

Renkotsu put a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder and cast me a glance swarming with emotions. I merely blinked at him, feeling the pain he felt as if it were my own.

"Be that as it may, what is done, is done," Sesshomaru said coolly, in a hushed tone. There was no sympathy in his words. "If he survives this, luck is on his side." He quickly glanced over to me to see if I had heard and I met his glance with a stoic one.

He saw my pain, my overwhelming tiredness, my shattered heart, and my broken pride. I know he saw.

And frankly, I didn't care. He hadn't angered me – no.

He had insulted me.

He believed that I should be left out of the conversation—that I shouldn't know what had happened for the man I loved to be wounded—possibly placed on his deathbed—by one heinous act.

Though my love for Bankotsu was a different kind of love, it was just as strong as any love a woman could feel for a man.

I saw Sesshomaru suppress a sigh.

You have no idea how I feel, I thought towards him. You have _no_ idea.

**x**

**x**

"Kagome," Suikotsu said, touching my shoulder lightly in attempt to bring me back to consciousness. My eyes instantly snapped open and I noticed then that Rin was gone. I jumped up immediately.

"Where is she?" I asked harshly, my eyes clouding over in worry.

Suikotsu grabbed my wrist in attempt to calm me. "Relax, Kagome. Sesshomaru and Renkotsu took her to the cafeteria to get some food. She was hungry. I just wanted to tell you that Sango called. She and Miroku are on their way."

I let out a sigh or relief, sinking back down into the chair—the situation hitting me full force once again. "I heard you talking to Sesshomaru. No one blames you, Sui," I whispered, letting a string of tears fall.

Suikotsu gave a sad smile and knelt down beside me, placing a hand on my knee. His eyes were clouded over in grief—guilt—deplore. "It _is _my fault, Kagome," he said in a heavy tone. "Naraku has had it in for me since day one...and Bankotsu and I are easily mistaken for each other."

I could tell he was trying to be strong.

I could tell he was trying not to cry in front of me.

I could tell he was scared and forlorn—withdrawn from all of us.

He had always looked up to Bankotsu and respected him. Bankotsu was his "great big brother". And if anyone loved Bankotsu more than me, it was Suikotsu. It hurt me to see him in such pain. He had always been the thoughtful one—the composed one. I choked back a sob as I saw tears come to his eyes.

I did not hesitate and threw myself into his arms. "It's okay to cry," I whispered into his hair. "It's not your fault. I swear it's not. Don't _ever_ blame yourself."

He gave in to his emotions, crumbling in my arms.

He let out a strangled cry and I could feel his tears soaking through my shirt. "I feel so guilty, Kagome," he sobbed.

"It's not your fault..." I soothed, rocking us back and forth.

No more words were exchanged as we cried together for the man we believed would never see the next day.

We only had hope.

And even that was becoming a thin strand to hold onto.

**x**

**x**

Morning had come quickly, the doctor updating us every so often on Bankotsu's condition. Sango and Miroku had arrived, as expected, sometime the previous night looking as grim as the rest of us. Everyone was jumpy—none of us knowing what to expect.

Bankotsu had always been the happy one, knowing how to cheer everyone up with a smile. And now, when we needed him most, he was the one we were fretting over.

I sipped slowly at my cup of coffee, wary of the heat.

Rin had fallen asleep on the chairs and I had covered her up with my coat, Sesshomaru sacrificing his as well for her pillow. I made eye contact with him briefly and moved from my spot over to an empty chair next to him.

"You don't have to stay," I murmured, sipping at my coffee once more.

"I will not abandon you nor Rin in your time of need. Whatever you ask of me, I will do," he replied, straightening his back in hopes of, what I presumed, cracking it.

I winced at the audible cracks. "You don't have work or something?" I asked, not trying to sound rude. I wanted him here, yes, but surely a man who has not known me for more than a week would rather be somewhere else than a hospital waiting room.

He let the ghost of a grin trace his lips. "Do you not wish for me to stay, Kagome?"

I held my free hand up in defense. "No. Of course I want you to stay. I—"

"It is settled then," he interrupted. I stayed silent and set my coffee down on the floor beside me. I had gotten it in hopes of waking myself up but it proved futile after downing two cups of it. Needless to say, I was immensely tired.

"Do you wish to rest, Kagome?" Sesshomaru asked, motioning to his lap.

I raised an eyebrow.

He sighed. "You may use me as a pillow if you wish."

I gave a weary smile. "Thank you, Sesshomaru."

**x**

**x**

"Are there any family members here for a Mr. Bankotsu Sichi?" a man with a clipboard asked the disgruntled members of the waiting room. The six adults stood, including myself. To say the doctor was surprised was an understatement. For some reason he looked a bit uncomfortable. I glanced over at Rin, making sure she was fine before joining the rest of them.

"I see he was a very loved man," the doctor added with a sad smile. "My name is Doctor Haku," he introduced.

Renkotsu nodded and very calmly asked, "You say _was, _Doctor...why is that?"

My heart sped up. Please...God no...I whispered in my head, my hands clenching the stomach of my tee shirt.

The doctor sighed. "I...I am afraid that Bankotsu will not live. He is alive now and speaking. He has asked to see a Miss Kagome Higurashi but...I must inform you before you see him that he was shot in the stomach. The bullets tore open a good portion of his skin and his intestines have been punctured. I am afraid that no matter what we do, the poison will kill him within a matter of days. I am truly, truly sorry."

I forgot to breathe.

In fact, I _couldn't _breathe.

Some part of me, _deep _down, knew he wouldn't make it and yet I opted for the more comforting thought. The thought that he would live—that he was strong enough to survive anything.

He has always been my tower, my savior, and my best friend.

I couldn't let him go.

He just couldn't leave me like this.

He had been with me from day one. We were in this together.

I looked around, fighting for my breath, and watched as Suikotsu crumbled to the ground in a heap of tears, much like he had earlier. Renkotsu was instantly at his side, his face pained. Sango turned pale upon the news registering in her head, burying her face in Miroku's chest. They were his family, they deserved more time with him than I did.

And somehow, I felt as if I had stolen it from them.

I could see Sesshomaru's lips moving, asking if I was alright. I couldn't hear his voice and I couldn't hear my own gasps for breath.

Everything began to blur—colors, sounds, faces—everything.

I wanted to say no.

I wanted to call him an idiot for even asking.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to _scream_.

I wanted it all to be a dream.

But most of all I just wanted Bankotsu to _live_.

I would have given anything.

I would have given _my _life for his.

I dropped to my knees.

I couldn't stand.

I couldn't think.

I had never felt so helpless in my entire life.

**x**

**x**

**A/N: **Don't kill me...:hides:. I know, I hated the fact but I had to kill him. He'll be in the next chapter. Maybe the one after that. Depends how long I want to let him live. And sorry this is a bit depressing - I'm in a down mood right now. But um...YAY I finally updated. That's good right? Review please. And yes, I give you permission to yell at me BUT on one condition: it has to be followed by a compliment! Lol. Jk. Up to you. Thanks for reading. :)


	7. Let The Drummer Kick

**Duro lima (last revision) : 4.20.08**

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 7**

**x**

**x **

Forget reality because everything that was taking place seemed too surreal. As if it were a dream.

I pinched myself.

Nothing happened.

Bankotsu was still dying and I had yet to tell out daughter that this could possibly be the last day she would _ever _see her father again. I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Hell, I could barely handle it myself. I was clueless—helpless.

I made my way down the hall after assuring Sesshomaru I was able to handle myself.

My mind was swarming with questions.

Would I let Rin see her father? Did I want his sickly, pale face the last image of him that was burned into her mind? Although, in my eyes, I had no right to deny her.

I had been so buried in my thoughts that I did not notice my hand pushing against the handle of door. The hall had a mixture of death and faintly of feces. I scrunched my nose up and quickly thrust myself into the room.

My heart ached when I saw him.

His face was pale, his eyes sorrowful, his fists clenched in intolerable pain. I almost thought I had gotten the wrong room. He looked so much older, weary from fighting death.

"Bank...?" I whispered, uncertainly.

His head turned towards the sound. He licked his chapped, swollen lips and a smile appeared upon them. "Hey bubble butt," he joked in a raspy voice.

I wanted to cry.

"How...are you?" I asked, taking a few more steps towards him.

He mustered up the strength to give me a sarcastic look.

My eyes widened. How thoughtless of me! "I'm sorry...I—" my voice cracked and he frowned.

"Kagome, stop. I know you. You're out there worrying your ass off,"—he coughed and continued—"feeling guilty on my account. Don't. I love you like I could never love anyone. You have always been the most important, constant person in my life, even before Rin."

I smiled and moved to the seat beside him. He grabbed for my hand. I intertwined my fingers with his, each moment tearing my heart further apart, for I knew, within a few days or less, he would be gone. **Forever.**

And that, by far, was the _worst_ part.

"Now, I have something I need to talk about you with," he said, clearing his throat, best he could. His breath became shallow and my heart jumped.

_Not now_, my mind pleaded.

He chuckled when he glanced at me. "I'm fine for the moment, Kagsy."

"I just..."

"Hush," he cooed. "I knew this day would come sooner or later. Stupid Suikotsu and his gang," he joked lightly, frowning when I gave him a forced smile. He continued, despite his desperate and failed attempt to lighten the dreary mood.

"Last night, I had been coming over to celebrate. I knew Sesshomaru was there but I didn't think he would mind much unless, of course, you two were getting a little cozy after Rin was put to bed..." he paused for dramatic effect and his gaze fixed on me.

I tried not to blush but did not succeed. I felt the heat rise from the back of my neck to my cheeks. Bankotsu made his best attempted grin.

"So, I was right," he said triumphantly.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

"Oh my god! I was _so_ right. What happened? Spill, girly!" he said, trying to resist moving his hands as he spoke.

I couldn't help but let out a giggle. "You are_ so_ gay."

"And proud of it, honey!" he said, playfully. "_Do _tell me and then I will continue," he urged me on.

"We kissed," I said, giddy, despite the current situation. I had set aside his appearance, his fate, and our current residence, feeling as if I was once again just chatting with my best friend. As if nothing had happened in the first place.

"_Ohhh_," he said, smirking. "I _see_."

"Oh shut up, pita bread," I said, swatting his hand as his fingers crawled up my arm.

"Don't be afraid of change, Kagsy. Give the hottie a chance. He seems like a decent fella'. For all you know, he could be_ the one_."

My eyes widened and my mouth stood agape. "_The one, _my ass!"

He laughed but instantly winced at pain it caused him.

I grew worried. "What? What is it? Do you need to me to get the doctor?" I jumped out of seat.

He shook his head. "_No_. Stop. Sit," he commanded, clenching his fist until his knuckles were white. My eyes grew fearful and my heart pounded relentlessly against my chest.

"Are you—"

"Shut _up_, Kagome. Stop worrying about me. Just _stop_," he barked in a harsh tone; one that I had never heard him use. It scared me and I bit my bottom lip to stop from crying. He sighed, instantly known he had hurt me. I had always been too sensitive; too fragile.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. His voice was growing tired. "I just don't want you stressing over something that we both have no control over."

I nodded, hurt and peeved. I wanted to be there for him but I didn't know how. How do you help someone who is already dying? I wanted to help, _somehow_. And yet, the conclusion I kept coming to was just to _listen_. I had to listen to him.

"Back to what I was saying..." he grunted. "I had a meeting with Kaguya, which is why I was coming to celebrate."

My eyes widened. "The model you were telling me about...?"

His eyes smiled at me. "Yes. She is loaning me money to start my own line. She's going to model my clothing, free of charge, hoping I get noticed. She is a very kind woman. I believe you and her would get along."

I nodded, once more.

"My proposal to you and also, my last wish to you, is to quit your job at the restaurant and start my would-be business, if I weren't...you know, kicking the bucket. I have sketchbook upon sketchbook at my apartment. All you have to do is hire a few people and they'll know what to do. Talk to Kaguya if you have any questions. Her mother was a designer for as long as I could remember.

I have set up a trust fund for Rin. I trust you will spend it wisely. College, clothes, her future, whatever you deem fit. I left everything to you, Kagome. My apartment and every item in it. The only thing I wish for you to give away is an old family album of me and Suikotsu. He would want that. Otherwise, my things belong to you Kagome. My money, my car, _everything_. For you and Rin."

I was speechless. I hadn't even thought about a will, much less what I would do after he died. I knew I had most likely lost my job at the restaurant, due to selfish reasons. I hadn't even realized what would happen after.

"I...Bank, are you sure?"

He nodded. "My lawyer will take care of everything. I've done what I can to set up a steady future for you and Rin. I want both my girls happy and healthy. With or without me there. Promise me you'll do what I asked of you."

I thought about it. There was no harm, I suppose. And it was all I _could_ do. "I promise."

I leaned to kiss him on the forehead.

"I love you, Bankotsu Sichi, I always will."

Those were the last words I ever spoke to him.

**x**

**x**

"Kagome, wake up," Sesshomaru said softly, shaking my shoulder. "The doctor has just announced something."

My eyes fluttered open, the pain in my back making itself noticeable as I quickly sat up. I winced, gritting my teeth—it was so unbearable. Note to self: _never sleep on plastic chairs again if can be avoided_.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Rin called, bounding over to my chair, worry in her innocent eyes.

"What is it, sweetie?" I asked, tossing a smile of thanks at Sesshomaru for waking me up.

"Why are Auntie Sango and Uncle Sui crying?"

My heart stopped. "Sesshomaru?" I whispered, my eyes shooting towards Renkotsu, who was currently conversing with Doctor Haku. I saw Renkostu point over at me and nod. My brows furrowed in confusion.

Doctor Haku began walking towards me.

"What's going on?" I asked Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the doctor. "Mrs. Sichi?" he asked me but was suddenly distracted by Rin, who was currently tugging at my shirt.

"Mommy?"

"One second, sweetie," I said, turning my attention to the doctor. Sesshomaru took the moment to lead Rin away from our conversation and I saw a great amount of sympathy in the doctor's eyes. "He's gone...isn't he...?" I asked, willing myself not to shed anymore tears.

Doctor Haku nodded. "I am so, very sorry." He paused for a moment and resituated the items in his arms. "These are the belongings he had with him when he came in."

I accepted them with a heavy heart; a pile of clothes, a wallet, keys, some loose money, and the bracelet he always wore around his wrist. Rin had made it for him as a school project. It was string covered loosely in colorful beads, the letters _MDR4ever_ on eight of the white beads. It stood for "_Mommy and Daddy and Rin, forever."_

I slumped into the seat, tears pouring from my eyes as I fingered the bracelet.

I realized something at that moment...

Our forever would never come.


	8. Goodbye Apathy

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 8**

**x**

**x**

It was around midnight when we arrived back at my apartment. I held open the door open for Sesshomaru, releasing a cross between a sigh and a yawn. Rin was in his arms, asleep after such a strenuous day (if that could even describe it). We had began to leave the hospital, eager to rest up and forget about the whole thing—or at least _attempt _to find some amount of solace (anything to relieve the pain), when the whole Sichi family (or at least those who hadn't been there for Bankotsu's passing) decided to drop by, sobbing and pointing fingers. I shuddered as the thought hit me. Jakotsu, the most flamboyant of the family, was the worst—crying hysterically, yelling at _me_, saying that _I _was to blame for Bankotsu's death.

After that, everything was a blur and it ended with me on top of Jakotsu, slapping the shit out of him. We came to an understanding after that. We merely agreed, though we had not gotten off on good terms the first time we met, we were both currently hurt and angry at no one in particular, save Naraku (but that was a given), and we had just acted upon our emotion. Ginkotsu, one of the other brothers, had done nothing but stand in the waiting room, mumbling a few incoherent sentences here and there. And yet, somehow, Renkotsu managed to understand him. God only knows _how_.

Not to mention that Mukotsu, the only brother that was envious of Bankotsu for sleeping with me to begin with (and sadly, he did nothing to hide such a feeling), was tossing me hungry glances as if he wanted to strip off my clothes and take me right then and there. Of course, this went on until after I lost it with Jakotsu and turned on Mukotsu as well, yelling something along the lines of, "_Your brother just fucking died! Do you not have any sympathy or sadness to express!? Stop looking at me like I am a piece of meat!" _

And all that had been _before_ I broke down into a fresh stream of tears.

Yeah, _strenuous_ did not even **begin **to describe the day.

**x**

**x**

"Do you want to stay the night, Sesshomaru?" I asked softly, attempting to keep my tears at bay. "It's late and I'm sure you'd rather sleep." My voice betrayed me at the last note and I swallowed hard. Don't cry, I begged myself. I knew once I started, I would not stop.

He nodded. "I believe, taking the current situation into account, you and Rin should be watched."

I shrugged and made my way to the end of the hall to grab a few spare pillows and a blanket. I grabbed a pair of Bankotsu's old sweats and threw them on top of the pile I was currently balancing. I reached the living room just as Sesshomaru was loosening his tie. He slid it off and folded it neatly before placing it on the coffee table in front of him.

"Here," I muttered, holding out the pants. He nodded and took them, retreating to the bathroom. I began putting a makeshift bed together with a strangled sigh.

"I miss you," I whispered softly to no one in particular. "I miss you so much, Bank."

I finished putting together the bed and slumped down onto my knees in front of it, fingering the blanket gingerly. It had been Bankotsu's favorite—his claim was that it was the most comfortable. A hot tear bounded down my cheek as I laughed stupidly to myself, thinking it funny how it was the little things I noticed now that he was gone.

"Why did you leave me," I whispered. I heard the bathroom door creak open and I swiftly wiped the tears from my cheeks. No more crying, Kagome, I told myself. I stood up with haste, nearly tripping over the coffee table.

"When did that get there?" I said aloud, false humor in my tone, in attempt to convince Sesshomaru I was fine even though he did not imply I wasn't. _Lying, much? _I berated myself.

He paused, standing before me, and his look said it all. _Silly girl._

My eyes welled up with tears and I couldn't help but cry.

He gave me no look of compassion.

He gave me no look of sympathy.

He simply took me by the wrist and pulled me to his chest where I cried for what seemed like hours.

Silly girl, indeed.

**x**

**x**

_It was dark._

_I was barely able to see the steps in front of me. An eerie, cold feeling washed over me as my bare toes touched the carpet beneath me. _

_I was in a house, two stories I assumed. My hand grasped the polished, smooth railing, using it as a guide. An involuntary shudder slivered through my body._

_I got to the second step, stumbling over my feet and instantly froze._

_Beneath me, a warm, unnerving liquid stirred._

_It was sticky. _

_I sprung back, my heart racing faster than ever before. I saw a plethora of shadows, scuttling across the area in front of me. I couldn't tell where I was. _

_All I knew is that I was not alone._

_I was determined to reach the top of the stairs for some reason beyond my own knowledge. I could hear random footsteps, varying in amount. They would start, two at a time, and then stop; begin again, and stop. _

_It wasn't those I was afraid of, however; it was the liquid beneath me. _

_It was blood._

_And by the feel of it, it was extremely fresh. As if, not only but a few seconds before, it had been spilled right in front of me—not even five feet away._

_I shuddered and took another step, ignoring the slimy, wet feeling. _

_Each step took more strength than I had to give. _

_Each step grew, twisted, and became wetter, stickier. _

_On what seemed like the last step, I stumbled, my hands crashing onto the floor, palms down. There was no more blood._

_It had all disappeared._

_I shakily lifted myself up, gritting my teeth, squinting my eyes until a door came into view. Something ran in front of me, a breeze pushing my hair back and I closed my eyes, wishing it all to end._

_My hand groped for the doorknob. _

_"You couldn't save him, you fool. What makes you believe you can save her and yourself?" A high pitched, shrill voice taunted. _

_I threw open the door. _

_She sat regally, head held high, back arched perfectly, her hair tossed into the perfect bun. She looked like a picture, sitting so still._

_"Hello?" I asked, cautiously. Was she real?_

_Her head turned quickly, her eyes piercing me, freezing me in my spot. "You won't be able to, foolish child."_

_Her eyes were red._

_Blood coated her hands, a smile twisting through her lips as I choked on nothing. I couldn't breathe. The air became humid and thick._

_"Just look at _**her**_," the woman said, a taunting note laced through each word. I followed her gaze, my heart shutting down slowly._

_"R—rin," I wheezed, my eyes widening as I took in each inch of her appearance. Gashes covered her little body, each festering sore worse than the next. Her face was pale, her lips parted in a silent scream. Her leg was twisted at an ungodly angle. Her arm was crushed completely, as if no bones had ever resided in it._

_"You monster!" I attempted to yell, sobbing uncontrollably. My voice was gone._

_I couldn't scream. _

_I couldn't cry out for help._

_I watched in horror as she grabbed Rin by the hair, the tip of her nail trailing down her cheek, leaving a small stream of blood._

_"Stop!" I tried to say. "Stop hurting my baby!" _

_But nothing came out._

**x**

**x**

"Kagome."

My eyes shot open. "Rin," I gasped, throwing the covers off of my body immediately. I stumbled through the door, slamming my right big toe against the corner. I winced, a few stray tears tumbling down my cheeks as I pushed open the door to Rin's room. My vision blurred and I panicked, my eyes not adjusting to the dark in her room right away.

"Kagome," a soft, masculine voice said behind me. "She is fine."

My eyes finally adjusted and I could see he had been true to his words. She was sleeping, peacefully as ever. What a brave kid, I thought, noting how I was anything _but _brave at the moment. I was a mess although I tried not to show it, especially around Sesshomaru.

I wanted his comfort.

Not his pity.

"However," he continued behind me, reaching around me to close the door with a soft click. "I would like to know if _you_ are."

Relief washed over me like a tidal wave, knowing she was safe. A few moments later, his words registered in my head. "I am...I will be." I turned to see his eyes flash with something before once again returning to their normal stoic state.

"It was just a dream. Just a dream..." I muttered monotonously, brushing past him to get back to my room. I sat down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I felt the bed dip and knew he was sitting beside me. I plastered a fake smile on my face and looked over at him.

"Yup, I'm good," I said. "You can go back to sleep."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at me. "I see," he said, getting up. "Goodnight then." He reached the door and was about to close it when my heart sped up again. What if it came back?

"Wait!" I yelled softly, as to not wake up Rin. "Um..."

He quirked his eyebrow at me, again, waiting for me to continue. When I did not, he began closing the door again.

"Stay with me!" I squeaked, my heart racing, tears clouding my eyes just thinking about those horrible images. I pushed them to the deepest part of my mind. I didn't want to talk about it; not yet. I knew it was just like, if not exactly like, the dream Rin had had before Bankotsu died. I bit my lip as Sesshomaru nodded.

"Very well."

What if the dream meant something?

The bed dipped once more and he slipped under the covers.

What if the dream had been trying to tell me something?

I lay down, pulling the covers up to my chin.

_Just sleep_, my mind told me. _Sesshomaru's here. You'll be fine._

_For now_, I thought as he awkwardly pulled me to his chest, _he's all I have_.

Him and Rin.

I rested my face in the crook of his neck as his left arm loosely draped over my waist.

_For now..._

I yawned.

_...just sleep._

**x**

**x**

**Author's Note: **A little more Sessh/Kag interaction. Not too much because then it'd be weird. She wouldn't get over Bankotsu that quick. Oh and I have decided to post the prequel. AFTER I finish this. And to those of you who now 'hate' this story because I killed Bankotsu, I'm sorry but that's life.


	9. Simple Girl

**Honey, I'm Gay**

**Chapter 9**

**x**

**x**

_It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all..._

Losing Bankotsu had evoked emotions that transcended far beyond my understanding. I felt ten again, needing reassurance and attention—someone to tell me everything would be okay eventually. But now, I had to be that stronghold for Rin—attempting to keep my eyes dry as I told her that her father had gone to a much better place; a place where the words pain and suffering fall upon deaf ears.

He had lived a life of laughter, love, and abundance—a life many would envy. Many times I would have to remind myself that he, too, had to endure sadness. He never showed it. His attitude had been one of the result of seeing the glass half full, rather than half empty. It was an aspect of Bankotsu that I would always admire.

I knew the dull, hollow ache in my heart would always shadow my life—and I knew I must adapt. Rin would ask about him—his life, his experiences, his mistakes—and I would tell her. I would tell her with pride and with a smile. I would keep him alive for as long as I lived.

I just had to do that without breaking down first...

**x**

**x**

I woke up with a start, feeling a warm hand on my hip. My eyes widened. _Bankotsu?_ I thought in my half-awoken state. I quickly shifted positions to find not only my assumption wrong but two aurulent eyes staring back at me. One stinging feeling in the back of my nose and a large dose of realization later, tears were streaking down my cheeks.

Sesshomaru sighed and brought me closer to his chest. His thumb began to rub soothing circles on my hip while the fingers on his other hand ran through the strands of my hair, untangling it gently.

"I'm sorry," I hiccuped, trying my best not to wipe my tears on him. "I thought..." I trailed off. How silly would that sound? I thought you were Bankotsu. I berated myself tenfold. He's_dead_, Kagome. And he's never coming back.

"I understand," Sesshomaru said, his eyes focused on the ceiling.

An uncomfortable silence followed and I fidgeted nervously in his grasp. He slowly released his hold realizing that I had reached a higher point than before and was slowly accepting the fact that Bankotsu was gone forever.

_"I like big butts and I can not lie, you other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get _sprung_."_

My lips twitched. "Is that your phone?" I could hear the vibrations from the side of the bed as the tune filled the room. Sesshomaru gave a look that was a cross between irritation and anger and rolled over to reach his phone, mumbling something about "stupid brothers".

I couldn't help but laugh.

At that moment everything seemed like it would be okay.

But only for that moment.

**x**

**x**

"Would you like to join us for breakfast?" I asked as I saw Sesshomaru walk out of the bathroom, straightening his tie and smoothing out the wrinkles from his shirt that sleep had brought it. After the ringtone incident, he had taken the call outside on the balcony of the apartment.

"I unfortunately cannot stay as I have business to attend to at work. I apologize," he stated.

I saw Rin frown as I used the spatula to place some eggs onto her plate. Despite the latest events, she had really grown to like Sesshomaru.

"Alright…" I muttered, not sure what else to say. It had been awkward enough waking up with the guy in my bed and then bawling all over him like a big baby—I was embarrassed with myself for even asking him to stay. I guess what was done was done. "Well I can't thank you enough for all your help and support lately. Rin and I really appreciate it." I added.

He nodded, accepting my thanks. "It's no trouble. I guess I will see both of you again soon." He turned to face Rin who was attempting to stab a piece of egg onto her fork so she could begin shoveling the food into her mouth. She had always been like me in that way—regardless of what had happened in life, she always had a healthy appetite. I had always figured that starving yourself wouldn't do any tragic situation any good.

"Goodbye, Rin. I will see you soon." Sesshomaru's voice snapped me out of my musings and I could instantly tell what was going to happen next. Of course Rin wouldn't want him to leave.

Her eyes lifted to meet his and I saw that the waterworks were about to begin. "Please don't leave me, too…"

My heart was shattering into tiny, irreplaceable pieces. At the word _too_, my eyes had started to well up also. I walked over to her and gathered her in my arms. "I miss him, too, baby," I whispered.

Sesshomaru briefly wore a concerned expression. "How about your mother and you join me for dinner tonight? Would that be okay, Rin?"

She sniffled and looked at him with wide eyes. "You promise?"

He gave a small smile. "I promise." He then turned to me. "I will call you later to give you directions. Unless you remember how to get there from last time?"

I nodded, squeezing Rin even tighter. "I think I can find it," I said. I mean, there were only so many neighborhoods that had houses that looked like his.

At least Rin now had something to move the day forward.

Both of us did.

**x**

**x**

The rest of the day consisted of Rin lying in front of the T.V., her eyes glued intently to the screen, my mind in a million places as I ran around trying to find something decent for dinner at Sesshomaru's—all while getting information from Sango about the funeral that was supposed to happen later this week.

I wasn't particularly sure if I was up to a fancy-pants dinner at mansion-de-la-Sesshomaru but half of me thought that it would be a good change of scenery for both Rin and I. A good distraction if you will.

My phone gave a ring and I walked over to the counter where I had placed it, glancing briefly at the caller ID before picking it up. "Hey sweetie," I answered, knowing it was Sango on the other line.

"Hey Kags. How are you doing? Do you and Rin need some company tonight?"

I smiled. Regardless of how horrible I'm sure she was feeling, she was concerned for Rin and I. "Well…Rin and I are going to Sesshom—"

"What! Are you serious! Bank would be so happy if he were still here!"

I laughed. "I know and I'd never hear the end of it. But as I was saying before you so _rudely_ interrupted me…" I heard her giggle and continued. "We're going to Sesshomaru's for dinner and I know we both would love if you wanted to come over afterwards."

"Hell yeah I'm coming over afterwards! I want details, woman! Let me know when you guys get home tonight."

I walked over to the bed, smoothing out the dress I was going to wear to dinner and eyeing my largely growing shoe collection to see which ones I'd most enjoy venturing out in tonight. "I will," I muttered. "I just…I feel guilty, Sango."

I heard her sigh and collapsed on the bed, running a hand through my hair.

"Kagome…he would want you to be happy. You know that, I know that, and so does everyone else who ever got to know him. Go out and have fun tonight with Rin. You both need some distractions right now. I honestly don't think it has really hit anyone that he's really gone."

I rolled over on my side as I heard Rin giggle from the living room.

"I guess you're right."

**x**

**x**

When we pulled into the driveway (although that might be a bad word for it since it was such a large space, I could practically fit my entire apartment building in it) Rin was in awe. She had never seen such a glorious home and even though it was my second time seeing it, I almost let my mouth drop as well.

"Mommy, its huge!" Rin squealed with joy. "Think of how may toys I could fit in there!"

I laughed. Of course that would be the first thing a five year old would be concerned with; a place to put her toys. "Alright Rin, out," I commanded, unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the door. She nodded excitedly and got out of the car running up to the front doors. She knocked and I laughed.

"I don't think anyone is going to hear you, sweetie." As I reached the front doors, I heard the crunch of gravel behind me and tossed a glance in that direction, curious.

"Kagome?" a confused voice asked. I recognized said voice as the one belonging to Miroku's friend from the movies, Inuyasha. "What are you doing here?"

Before I could answer, Rin beat me to it. "We're here to see Sesshomaru!" she answered with a big gaped tooth smile.

"Oh yeah?" Inuyasha grinned. "And who might you be?"

Rin smiled even bigger. "I'm Rin."

"Rin, eh?" Inuyasha said, ruffling her hair. "You look a lot like your mom."

I gave a small smile. "And a lot more like her dad…" I whispered to myself. Inuyasha must have heard me because he gave a sympathetic glance.

Rin, oblivious to what was going on, had taken a new interest in the man who looked a lot like Sesshomaru. "Are you going to eat dinner with us, too?" she asked, innocent as ever.

He shrugged. "I don't think so."

I took this as my cue. I knew Sesshomaru probably wouldn't be happy but who was he to say no to someone who was grieving? Yes, I would stoop so low…

"Sure you are," I said and grabbed his hand dragging him inside.

What I didn't know is that Sesshomaru still hadn't confronted him for changing his ringtone and embarrassing him this morning.

**x**

**x**

It was silent.

Well, except for Rin babbling on about how much she loved the koi pond in the "backyard" of this gorgeous place.

"…and I like the orange ones with the white stripes and the white ones with the orange stripes. Oh! And don't forget the red ones and the black ones and the…"

I wanted to laugh.

Sesshomaru sat as still as a statue his glare fixed upon Inuyasha who fidgeted in his chair uncomfortably.

"I should probably—"

"Nope. Food's gonna be done soon," I said, smiling wide. Sesshomaru tossed me a glance. I decided that it would be fun for everyone if I decided to make things more interesting.

"So I was listening to the radio the other night and that song by Sir Mix-A-Lot came on…um what was it?" I said, tapping my fingers against the table as if I was trying to pull a name from the recesses of my brain.

I could feel two pairs of eyes on me at that moment. "Oh yeah! Baby Got Back," I said as if the name had just come to me. I smothered a giggle and watched as Inuyasha laughed nervously.

"Such a good song," he coughed.

"I do not find this amusing," Sesshomaru countered.

"I also like the yellow ones! Those are pretty!" Rin exclaimed. "Don't you, Mommy?" she said, turning to smile at me. I was amazed that she was still going on about the koi fish to no one in particular. Crazy child.

"Yes, honey," I responded, watching as the servers (servers! For the food! I mean, how cool is that?) walked in with steaming plates of what looked like chicken breast and some array of vegetables. "I like the yellow ones, too."

**x**

**x**

Inuyasha had retired to his room early, probably hoping to escape the wrath of Sesshomaru as I cuddled with Rin on a wonderfully plushy couch in one of the many living rooms. Sesshomaru walked in just as I got comfortable and sat across from me.

"Thank you for dinner," I said, covering up a yawn with the back of my free hand. "It was delicious and I know Rin really enjoyed herself."

The smallest of smiles touched his lips. "I believe you enjoyed yourself, too."

I laughed remembering the glaring contest that ensued between the brothers over the stupid ringtone. Siblings, I swear. It was always over the smallest things and it was always easy to push buttons. "I did. It felt good to laugh tonight."

"I'm glad," he answered, leaning back in the chair.

"We should be getting home soon since she's completely out," I said, smoothing her hair back. "I also have a lot to do tomorrow." I realized just how true that statement was as soon as it had come out of my mouth. I had promised Bankotsu one thing and one thing only and I was not going to let him down. I needed to call Kaguya.

"Of course; I completely understand. Do you wish for me to walk you out?" He asked, standing from where he had just been sitting. I shifted my weight so I could pick up my slumbering little girl more easily when I felt Sesshomaru's arm brush against mine as he lifted her with ease into his arms. She gave a little sigh in her sleep and snuggled into his shoulder, gripping him so tightly that it almost seemed like she expected him to disappear.

I smiled as he held his free hand out to me to help me up from the couch.

We walked in silence to my car and I stood by as he buckled her in securely so she wouldn't wake on the drive home.

"We had a wonderful time tonight, Sesshomaru."

"As did I, Kagome," he said, closing the car door softly and taking a step towards me. He grabbed my hand softly. I looked up at him, my heart speeding up an incredible amount. One small touch and he had my heart racing. "You looked exquisite tonight," he stated, watching me closely.

I could feel my cheeks heating up and I did something I never thought I would ever be brave enough to do. I closed the space between us and kissed him with every ounce of passion in my body.

I knew that wherever he was, Bankotsu was looking down on us, grinning his heart out.

**x**

**x**

**A/N: **It's been years since I've even typed ' **' **into my browser. But I'm glad I did. Last night I ran across this story and I really had the urge to write some more. I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment but it's been a while and I'm a little rusty.** Review!**


End file.
